Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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