Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
