I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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