check it out our google latitudes are spooning
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
