This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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