you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
