just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize