can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
her vagine was all disorganized.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
