Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
