I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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