So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
