My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
