I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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