it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
