oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she looked like the before picture.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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