yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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