weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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