You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
