watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is the high leading the old right now
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
