So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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