Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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