Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
