so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
