worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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