She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
