Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
