If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
