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I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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