dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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