I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
