id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
