I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
