Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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