It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
