Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
