My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize