You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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