just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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