Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
