Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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