please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
