Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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