She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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