I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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