i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
