youre lurking in front of me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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