I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
