We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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