That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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