before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
