Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
