Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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