is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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