i permit you to call me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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