why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
