I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
