you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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