Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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