Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
