i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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